With back to school season upon us, this is one thing that not so many people talk about - what I like to call: The Back To School Scaries.
Whether your child is just starting school or preschool this year, or they are well used to the environment, the Back to School Scaries can affect everyone.
Out of nowhere, your child, who was perfectly content and relaxed, returns home from school and suddenly starts to unravel. It may seem like a drastic change - from being fine one moment to crying, being irritable, or zoning out the next. It's as if the calm and happy child you sent to school has been replaced by a completely different one! The reassuring fact is that this occurrence is very common and, surprisingly, completely normal. Let's delve into the reasons behind this phenomenon and explore ways to assist your child in handling these after-school meltdowns
Why Do After-School Meltdowns Happen?
All day at school, our kids are in “go mode.” They’re following rules, trying to be polite, navigating friendships, and dealing with whatever school throws at them. That’s a lot for anyone, especially for kids who are still figuring out how to handle big feelings. By the time they get home, they’re emotionally spent, and home is where they feel safe enough to let it all out.
Here’s what’s usually going on:
Emotional Burnout: Imagine keeping it together all day when you’re feeling tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed. That’s what our kids are doing. After hours of holding it in, they just can’t anymore.
Sensory Overload: Schools are loud, bright, and busy. By the end of the day, your child might be so overwhelmed by all the noise and activity that they just need to crash.
Need for Freedom: After a day of structured schedules, they want to do their own thing. But if that freedom doesn’t happen right away—cue the meltdown.
Tough Transitions: Switching from school to home can be hard, especially if they’re hungry or tired. It’s like all the emotions they’ve been holding back hit them at once.
What to Expect
Once you understand what’s happening, it’s a little easier to roll with it. Here’s what you might see:
Mood Swings: They might seem fine at school pick-up, but by the time you get home, they’re in meltdown mode. It’s not out of nowhere; they’ve just reached their limit.
Regression: Sometimes, they’ll act younger than they are—like wanting to be held or using baby talk. This is their way of looking for comfort.
Physical Complaints: Headaches, stomachaches, and other “mystery” ailments often pop up. They’re usually stress-related.
Clinginess: After being one of many all day, they might want all your attention as soon as they see you.
How to Help Them Through It
You can’t always prevent these meltdowns, but you can help make things easier for your child—and for yourself.
Create a Chill Environment: When they get home, try to keep things calm. Have a snack ready, maybe some quiet time, and avoid overwhelming them with questions or noise.
Offer Comfort: Let them know it’s okay to feel upset. Sometimes, all they need is a hug or just sitting quietly with you.
Stick to a Routine: Kids do better when they know what to expect. Having a consistent after-school routine can help them transition from school to home life.
Encourage Talking—but Don’t Push: If they want to talk about their day, great! If not, give them space. Sometimes they need to unwind before they’re ready to share.
Get Them Moving: Physical activity is a great stress reliever. Encourage them to play outside, go for a walk, or do something active.
Be Patient: It’s tough, but try to stay patient. These meltdowns aren’t about you—they’re just your child’s way of dealing with all the feelings they’ve been bottling up.
Wrapping Up
After-school meltdowns are tough, but they’re also a sign that your child feels safe enough at home to let their guard down. By creating a supportive environment and being there for them, you can help your child learn to navigate these emotions over time. And remember, it’s not about fixing everything right away—it’s about helping them feel understood and loved as they figure out how to manage their feelings.
So next time your child melts down after school, take a deep breath, give them a hug, and remind yourself that this is just part of growing up. You’ve got this!
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